Cas J. Adams
Est. MCMLXXXVIII \ ♒
Writer, Artist, Dog lover
& I'm in love with Luna.
"Maybe the wolf is in love with the moon and each month it cries for a love it will never touch."
Anonymous said: amber & orange.
If you wanna get to know me, you can’t do that on Anon lol@21 hours ago with 1 note
@1 day ago with 1 note
- She set me free. I love the way I love because of her. She is love.
- Her eyes are like stars. They smile when she looks into mine.
- When she wakes up, her hair is messy and has no make up on.
- Her lips smile at me like nobody has ever smiled at me before.
- When she touches me, I get butterflies. Always.
- She laughs this certain laugh. It makes me laugh.
- Just looking into her eyes, I see her soul. Her heart.
- She has a great amount of strength and determination.
- When she speaks, I feel like I’m floating. Her voice is soothing.
- She doesn’t have to try to be beautiful. She just is.
@1 day ago with 108111 notes
Deep Red - I’m in love with you.
Red - I love you.
Pink - I think you’re cute.
Blue - You’re amazing.
Rose - You’re pretty
Purple - You’re hot.
Plum - I would fuck you.
Violet - I would date you.
Aqua - I could stay on your blog for hours.
Lavender - You are my tumblr crush.
Orange - I want to get to know you.
Tangerine - We have a lot in common.
Amber - I wish you would notice me.
Cream - I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog
@1 day ago with 1 note
Sometime between 2006-2007, I sat next to a girl named Angel. We sat in the back row. This class, foreign language, maybe? I forget. I didn’t pay much attention. This girl, Angel, had my attention.
She wasn’t the most attractive girl but she was really intelligent and funny. She had long brown hair, wore baggy clothes, black mostly, all the time. I remember watching her in the corner of my eye all the time. She doodled a lot. I watched her closely. One time, she caught me staring. I played it off like I was looking else where; but she knew. Secretly, I grew fond of her. Problem was I couldn’t talk to her. I was extremely shy, even ashamed. You’re probably thinking “why”, right? Well, the even bigger problem was I had a boyfriend, yes boyfriend. This was before I came out as a lesbian, obviously —- Before I could accept myself as a lesbian.
Because I didn’t have big enough balls at the time, I passed her a note;
“Hi, I’m Cassandra. You’re cute :),” it said. She smiled and passed it back. It said, “Yeah, I know. I’m Angel. And thanks. You are, too. :)” We continued to write each other in a notebook that we’d pass back and forth. We never actually talked to each other except for a few brief words when she’d ask me general questions. At one point, she wrote, “So, do you have a girlfriend?” I hesitated to write back at first but finally wrote, “No… I have a boyfriend, but I’m bi.” That didn’t phase her, though. She responded with, “Flirting doesn’t hurt anyone. ;)”
“I never been this open before with someone I barely knew,” I wrote, “I’m not happy with him. His name is Cory. I think I might just like girls… It’s complicated. I don’t know how I feel.” Angel is the first person I came out to as a lesbian, unofficially.Angel and I wrote back and forth for about a few days. It came to an end when this girl came to our class to visit Angel. It was nearly the end of the class period and this girl walked through the door. I remember staring her down. Now she had my attention. It’s stereotypical, but I was sure she was a lesbian because she was butch and wore a rainbow necklace like the one Angel wore. I pretended not to listen to her as she talked to Angel. Her voice - It was the sweetest thing. I watched her. I don’t know why, but I wanted her. I liked her. But, I knew - I knew her and Angel were an item, or at least they might’ve been during sometime. Angel didn’t mention she had a girlfriend but I knew. Not only that but the girl had Angel’s name tattooed on her left hand ring finger. It was obvious then. The bell rang. Class was over. “Shit,” I thought. I watched the girl as I headed to choir in the opposite direction they were headed. I turned around for a brief second and saw Ashley, a girl I was friends with and had choir with, stopped to talk to Angel and the girl. I saw the girl give Ashley a hug. “Ugh,” I remember thinking. I felt a rush of jealousy come over me because Ashley knew this girl. I wanted to know her.
I felt something special that day… At the time, I didn’t know, or was too afraid to acknowledge it, what it is. It felt much deeper than anything I’ve ever felt before. I was jealous of Angel. I wanted to know everything about this girl —- This random girl who I just unofficially meet.
Officially, three-four years later, I would meet her. I wouldn’t realize I met her before until I see the name “Angel” tattooed on her ring finger. Then it hit me; The girl I’ve always thought about, and somehow, loved was right here in front of me the whole time.
It was Stephanie.
*We started dating the first day we met, officially. I told her I loved her that night. I will NEVER feel the way I feel about her for another girl as long as I live. I believe something like this only happens once in your life.
Stephanie - If you read this, please know, whether we’re together or not, I’m happy if you’re in my life as a friend than nothing at all. But —- As long as I live and breath, you will always have my heart. I love you with my entire heart and soul. Plus more.
Finally as of August 09, 2010, I told my mom I’m gay. This is how it went:
@1 day ago with 1 note
I said “Did you know Tasha (my sister) and Crystal (her girlfriend) are dating again?”
She said “No… Why doesn’t she try to find a boy?”
I said “Uhm, because she doesn’t like boys. (She already knew that.) Oh and that’s something else I need to talk to you about.”
She said “Oh, what’s that?”
I said “Well, you know how I dated Cory (He’s mentioned in the ‘Who Am I?” Blog) for a while? And that whole relationship?”
She said “Yeah… What about it?”
I said “Well… Ugh… *Pauses* Well, that whole relationship was a cover up. I couldn’t accept who I was before. Basically, it was hiding the fact that I’m… Gay.”
Then there was silence for what seemed like an hour.
She finally says “Ohhh, I’m suuure.” She didn’t believe me.
I said “I am…”
She said “I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to hear about the choices you make in your life.”
I said “It’s not a choice. That’s why I didn’t tell you because I know how you are. You don’t have to accept it but at least be happy that I’m FINALLY happy with who I am. I wasn’t before.”
She didn’t say anything after that. We changed the subject.
I figured it’d happen this way, but FINALLY. FINALLY, the weight I’ve been carrying on my shoulders for years… Is gone. I’m SO happy. Now, all my friends and family know I’m gay. :0)
At some point during that conversation I brought up Stephanie. My mom asked about her a little. But I knew she wasn’t too interested in the topic. But oh well. I’m happy. That’s all that matters to me.
I asked “Do you want to meet Stephanie (my girlfriend)?”
She said “I don’t know.”
I said “What do you mean you ‘don’t know’?”
She said “I DON’T know.”
I said “Well, you’re going to have to meet her sometime.”
That was that. My mom didn’t say “no” but I know she doesn’t. She’ll meet her, though because Stephanie’s really fucking important to me. I love her.
Accept it or not, I am who I am.
I will not change for you.
I will not change for anyone.